Photo-Illustration: The Cut; Photos: Getty

Ever found your self hysterically weeping in a fast-food joint’s parking lot, your best pal at the same time trying to hand-feed you and hold the hair straight back when you yell, “just take me personally away! Exactly how am I going to ever go on? I’ll most likely never love again!” through snotty tears? Or are you presently … maybe not gay?

Ah, heartbreak! The reason tracks are sung and paintings are painted, the motivation behind large art like

Romeo and Juliet

and

Red (Taylor’s Variation)

. I decided to observed it all, felt the pain. However we
began matchmaking ladies
— and regrettably, something they forget to say at Lesbian Orientation is that the first queer break up will ruin you, in a “should I be hospitalized because of this astounding and insurmountable struggling” particular way. Finally feeling actually and emotionally attracted (and dedicated) to someone you like simply hits different.

A couple weeks in the past, I found myself personally into the throes of my personal very first lesbian separation. We chop up my ex’s top into one thousand parts, smeared puppy poop all-over it, and kept it out to allow them to see in the leading garden. I then retired to your convenience of personal despair cavern (my personal sleep) and performed exactly what any heartbroken Gen Z–millennial cusp have to do mid-breakup: doomscroll on TikTok to the early several hours. But as I unwrapped the software while the little FBI man inside my cellphone shuttled myself straight away to leading web page of Lesbian TikTok, we rapidly noticed the sapphic gods had not just arrive for my situation — that they had come for us

all

. When you look at the terms of queer TikToker Victoria Paris, ”
The white gay ladies tend to be battling!

Blame it on
Lesbian Break Up Curse
. While in the few days I was unplugged from internet, lying facedown on my kitchen area flooring and experience sorry for myself, Lesbian TikTok positively imploded over a series of high-profile queer breakups that tore the #wlw society to parts.

This indicates as though every one of the TikTok lesbians tend to be breaking up additionally, while the drama makes

Like Island

resemble child’s play. Based on some, the Curse was
in the beginning cast
whenever lesbian pop music star Fletcher began teasing a track from the woman future album,

Girl of My Desires

. The tune, “Becky’s therefore Hot,” talks of just how hot her ex’s new girlfriend is actually and suggests that she would like to know-how hot-girl Becky “tastes.” Fletcher’s ex, prominent LGBTQ YouTuber Shannon Beveridge, promptly got to TikTok by herself in response on the tune, making clear that “nobody asked permission.” Gay
disorder
ensued.

All of a sudden, star lovers including A-lister
JoJo Siwa
and previous gf Kylie Prew, to college basketball celebrity
Sedona Prince
and previous girlfriend Rylee LeGlue had been separating faster than they may U-Haul originally. Plus the gays online had been Eating! It! Right Up! There were clapback duets, incriminating review
threads
, not very sly journeys to
Disneyland
, $80
merch
obtainable,
literal receipts
— just how can a lesbian with a full time task and a screen-time restriction on her behalf phone potentially ever before keep pace?! Well, used to do just what any heartbroken lesbian must do each time along these lines: I labeled as from work, popped countless popcorn, got a couple of Klonopin, smashed that “Ignore maximum” button, and held scrolling.

Before you decide to come at myself for reveling in suffering of real folks, here’s the fact: if you are is likely to dark spot, it could feel great to look at somebody else’s life fall apart. If not, how come we see incredible fact programs like

Admiration Isle

or

90 Day Fiancé

? Also a antique rom-com can hit the place. Drama heals drama, and nothing shuts your head down that can compare with projecting yours pain and putting up with onto innocent Brits whom only want to discover love in a villa.

The Lesbian Breakup Curse is more than simply a strange (and perchance astrological) event seizing the social-media nourishes. It fills a requirement for content that’s relatable, sensible, and relevant to the queer society. When I ended up being eventually able to secure my personal telephone, dried out my personal rips, wear some chunky platform shoes, and do the L.A. lesbian club world by storm, the # 1 subject of discussion had been, predictably, the Curse. This is certainly our Ultra Bowl.

Lesbian representation into the media is very little (and questionable!) at the best, as soon as you are looking at mindless gay break up content material, its slim pickings for us queers. This obsession making use of the private internet dating everyday lives of lesbian women stems from a desperation for actually good homosexual television. If we had a lesbian dating show involving carabiners, the Woods on a Wednesday night, and touring 12 many hours and three time areas for an initial date, we probably wouldn’t need to focus really on a “curse” that was laid out for people on TikTok.

Very yes, it’s correct I became a sufferer associated with the Lesbian separation Curse (seemingly, it strikes people with under 100 followers on TikTok, also), but it pulled me right up from the bootstraps, slapped me personally around a few times, had gotten myself through dog-poop stage, and helped me get some necessary viewpoint. In fact, i do believe We’ll credit my whole data recovery with the Curse — we gays actually raise the other person right up, never we? And talking about raising upwards, not worry, no exes had been hurt into the authorship of your tale. Really, after half a session of couples therapy and one Phoebe Bridgers show, we’re not exactly exes anymore. (Gay, i am aware.)